---------- Forwarded message ---------- Date: Wed, 2 Dec 1998 08:22:05 -0500 (EST) From: April To: Chris Ellison , Greg Anderson , Ken Gosier , Ken Taylor , "Bhatt, Sharvari" Subject: One liners, a la Steven Wright (fwd) One Liners from Stephen Wright ----------------------------------------------- Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts. I just got skylights put in my place. The people who live above me are furious. Do they have reserved parking for non-handicapped people at the Special Olympics? Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse? Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished? Shouldn't they be called builts? Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together? Why is lemon juice contains mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons? I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation? Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?