----- Forwarded by Chatchares Chitvaranund/Person/World Bank on 07/14/2003 11:20 PM ----- > > > SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE PART I > > > What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? > > > Juan on Juan. > > > > > > What is a Yankee? > > > The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone. > > > > > > What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ? The > > > position of the dirt bag. > > > > > > Why is divorce so expensive? > > > Because it's worth it. > > > > > > What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? > > > Doughnuts. > > > > > > Why is air a lot like sex? > > > Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any. > > > > > > > > > SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE PART II > > > > > > What do you call a smart blonde? > > > A golden retriever. > > > > > > What do attorneys use for birth control? > > > Their personalities. > > > > > > What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife? > > > 45 lbs. > > > > > > What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband? > > > 45 minutes. > > > > > > What's the fastest way to a man's heart? > > > Through his chest with a sharp knife. > > > > > > Why do men want to marry virgins? > > > They can't stand criticism. > > > > > > Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, > caring, and good-looking? > > > Because those men already have boyfriends. > > > > > > What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a > > > year, the dog is still excited to see you. > > > > > > What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The > > > same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention > of driving. > > >> > > > > > Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex? > > > Because they have cotton balls. > > > > > > What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW? > > > A porcupine has the pricks on the outside. > > > > > > What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? "Are > > > you sure it's mine?" > > > > > > Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex? > > > Mace will do that to you. > > > > > > Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ? Everyone has > > > the same DNA. > > > > > > Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? > > > Breasts don't have eyes. > > > > > > Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi? > > > He walks around saying "Yo." > > > > > > Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car > only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays? > > > Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it. > > > > > > > > > SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE, PART III (Just Great Stuff) > > > > > > Where does an Irish family go on vacation? > > > A different bar. > > > > > > Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby? > > > They named him "Sum Ting Wong" > > > > > > What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than > the other? > > > A speech impediment. > > > > > > What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at > > > half-mast? They're hiring. > > > > > > What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo? A > > > southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of > the cage along with...."a recipe." >> > > > > > How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? > > > Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*! > > > > > > What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern > > > fairytale? A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A > > > southern > fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit...." > > > > > > > > > Why is there no Disneyland in Guatemala ? > > > No one's tall enough to go on the good rides.