From jjm247@cims.nyu.edu Sun May 23 16:03:36 1999 Date: Thu, 22 Apr 1999 23:12:39 -0400 From: Jeff Miller To: Ken Dooley , Daniel Powers , Ken Gosier , Amy Persson , Dave Perret , Jorge Meyer , Mark Selikson , Chi Lee Subject: FW: Redneck Jedi -----Original Message----- YOU KNOW YOU'RE A REDNECK JEDI IF: 1..You ever heard the phrase, "May the force be with y'all." 2..Your Jedi robe is camouflage. 3..You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill. 4..At least one wing of your X-Wings is primer colored. 5..You have bantha horns on the front of your land speeder. 6..You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok. 7..You have ever had an X-Wing up on blocks in your yard. 8..The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters. 9..Wookies are offended by your B.O. 10..You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial. 11..You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing/bowling. 12..Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over to the darkside...it'll be a hoot." 13..You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the barbecue grill to light. 14..You have a confederate flag painted on the hood of your landspeeder. 15..You think Han Solo would look better in a flannel cause he looks a little sissy in that vest. 16..You ever fantasized about Princess Leah wearing Daisy Duke shorts. 17..You have the doors of your X-wing welded shut and you have to get in through the window. 18..Although you had to kill him, you kinda thought that Jabba the Hutt had a pretty good handle on how to treat his women. 19..You ever fell in love with your sister. 20..You have ever accidentally referred to Darth Vader's evil empire as "them Yankees." 21..You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca. 22..You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with a redwood deck.